JOKES OF THE WEEK

* A man escapes from prison where he has been for
15 years. He breaks into a house to look for
money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a
chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top
of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into
the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband
tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his
clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and
hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he
kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist,
don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy
him no matter how much he nauseates you. This
guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my
neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me
he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me
if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the
bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
* one rich mama has one houseboy and she also
has one cat,she name the enough.one day enough
was missing ,the houseboy and mama were
looking for enough.they were all shouting
enough,enough,enough.The mama bent down
looking for enough and the houseboy also bent
down looking for enough,under the
bed,unfortunately,the houseboy saw the mama"s
hug breast.the mama shouted at the
housebnoy"have you see enough the houseboy
reply to her madam,l have see more that enough

*A guy walks into his doctor’s office and says,
“Ddddoc, I’ve bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears
and III’m tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp
mmme???”
The doc says, “Well, I’ll have to examine you first
before I can answer you.”
The doc examines him and says, “Well, I’m pretty
sure that I know what the problem is.”
The guy asks, “wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?”
The doc says,”It’s your penis. It’s about about 18
inches long and all of the down pressure is putting
a strain on your vocal chords.”
The guy asks, “Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?”
The doc replies, “Well, I can cut it off and
transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the
operation will cure your stuttering.”
The guy says, “Dddo it!”
The guy has the operation and about four weeks
later he comes back to the doctor’s office and
says, “Thanks Doc. You’ve solved my problem and
I don’t stutter any more but I’ve only had sex
once in the past month. My wife doesn’t enjoy it
any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long
penis. I don’t care if I have to stutter, I want you
to put my long one back one!”
The doc replies, “Nnnnope. A ddddeal’s a
ddddeal!”

* There was this couple that was married for 20
years with 3 kids, and every time they made love the
husband always
insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20
years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured
she would break him out of the crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a
romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was
holding a battery operated pleasure devise. She
got extremely
upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at
him, "how could you be lying to me all of these
years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and
says calmly, "I"ll explain the toy if you explain the
kids."