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7:23 AM
of whatever ‘self-importance’ I nursed in the
corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened
me up to my real self. It has brought me to a
deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most
grateful for.
When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog,
I never imagined it would generate the kind of
attention it did and continues to. I have one last
thing to say on this issue before I lay it to rest and
move on. (I also hope others can move on too, we
have too much going on in this Country to
continue to peddle one for longer than necessary.)
A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it
necessary to talk about this issue and spread it
throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read
every email sent to me with awe that people
would take the time out to reach a total stranger
like me. Some were cursing, calling me a witch
from the pit of hell sent to destroy the church as
though one individual/church is bigger than the
body of Christ. As though God is mere man and
would cringe in heaven saying, “Ese don did it this
time.” Or as if the good Book didn’t state clearly
that ALL things work out for good for those
that love God.
Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL
turn around for good.
Some people say, ‘I support you, you are brave
and courageous’ and I wonder if those terms really
define me. I do not think I am brave or
courageous. I do know, however that after
decades of sleepwalking through life, I am now
becoming aware not just of myself but also of my
environment, my world, and the universe.
Some say, put out the evidence and we will
believe you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write
that post, I really didn’t expect anyone to believe
me. Well, apart from those involved. And my
motive was simple, let one more woman be
spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be
mindful and let the church rise up to its
responsibilities as God’s legal representatives here
in the earth realm.
A copy of the ‘evidence’ is with a respected
minister of the gospel should the christian body
decide to deal with this issue now and that
becomes needful. I am not looking to have a ‘me
against them’ case where I need to prove I’m right
and someone is wrong. I am far from right, but I
have used the only means available to me to free
myself of the bondage I put myself in.
Lastly, to all the media people seeking
interviews and whatever else mailing me, I have
nothing more to say on this issue. I cannot reply
every email as reading them is beginning to seem
like a new job.
I remember asking a friend once while reading
the book of Acts, “Why do we no longer operate in
the power the disciples did in Jesus day?” What
has changed? How do we ‘unchange’ it?
God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let’s serve
Him. We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by
oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the
ME ME ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said,
‘no one is free until we are all free.’
Things have got to change and it begins with
us. It begins with each and every one of us
borrowing courage to stand for what we believe
in. Fela Durotoye once said, ‘that thing that
annoys you most in society is a sign that you
carry its solution.’ (I’m
paraphrasing)
Nothing has called out to me more than people,
especially women, suffering in some way and
hiding the pain. Whatever we cover doesn’t go
away. It grows and it finds different outlets to rear
its ugly head until we deal with it.
I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am
enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know
what the entire bible says but I am learning and
applying the little I find out daily. And I think
everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it
out for themselves.
At the end of the day, we agree that ‘men of
God’ are firstly men, right? This means it’s
needless expecting them to help you in your
growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a
‘man of God’ is equated to God and it is not new
to find people fall in that hole.
How do you begin to learn to serve a God you
have never seen? It takes another level of faith to
do that but we live in a generation/Country where
people don’t want to study for themselves. They
don’t want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don’t
want to read, period. They want to pursue things
instead and have somebody do the praying and
studying for them. If you fall in that category, you
need to repent.
I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were
given equal access to the Father. No matter how
long you may have been in church, if you don’t
know what that means you better ask somebody.
And seek a real relationship with the God you
claim to serve.
That is what I am spending most of my time
doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking,
knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the
hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not
angry with me and I did what I needed to do to
the best of my understanding.
My apologies to everyone this has affected in
one way or another.
Firstly, my family: I don’t know how you guys
aren’t sick of me yet ;)
Secondly, ‘the body of Christ,’ my intention was
never to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt
might spread and become worse if nobody spoke
up about it.
Lastly, to those who said I shouldn’t blog again,
I respect and understand your concerns but the
truth is, writing is not just my gift, it is also my
‘curse’. I cannot ‘NOT’ write but I PROMISE, this is
the last I will say on this issue except the christian
body needs to see me.
God is building His church, and the gates of hell
shall not prevail against it. No sin is too big to
wreck anyone’s faith. If it does, then it means it’s
working out a greater good for you. You will
definitely come out stronger and better in the end.
Like my best friend says “in the end, it will be all
right and if it ain’t alright, it’s not the end.”
“…forgetting those things which are behind,
and reaching forth unto those things which are
before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the
high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul.
Cheers to the weekend people.
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